It’s really easy to get distracted.
I’m not talking about letting video games, girls, booze, and unwatched episodes of The West Wing lure you away from doing art (yes, I have yet to get through The West Wing Give me a break. I’ve been busy for the past 15+ years). Those things are all minor distractions that are essentially entertainment and a break away from work.
No, I’m talking about the temptation to take an entirely different path altogether. A path that would lead you away from what it is you really want to do.
In the fall of 2013, I decided to take a break from teaching drumlines and marching bands. I was good at it. Really good. Extremely good. And I’m not tooting my own horn here. Ask anyone I’ve worked with and they’ll tell you how good I was. It was hard to give up because I love the medium of marching music so much – writing music, teaching it, passing on knowledge to up-and-coming musicians, putting together shows – and just as hard, if not harder, to give up something you’re really good at. I miss it. I miss it very much. And once or twice since then I’ve toyed with opportunities to return. I did say that, given the right circumstances, I would return to teaching. But, those opportunities didn’t pan out the way I’d hoped, so I remained on my sabbatical.
When I think about my friends and ex-students who are still teaching, getting new opportunities I could have had, my ego becomes jealous and the desire to return to teaching drumlines wells up. The temptation to make a few calls to see about available gigs is there, beckoning me, like a beautiful woman holding a garlic pizza in one hand and a cold, frothy beer in the other, all in front of me and perpetually out of reach as she bats her eyes while her lips tell me: No, no, these are not for you…
*ahem*… sorry.
I would still return to teaching again under the right circumstances. But unless those circumstances arise, the thought of teaching to sate my ego is a distraction unrelated to illustration, for sure. I guess you could say it’s like wanting to get back together with an old girlfriend, even though it didn’t work out: She used to be mine! you think, wanting what was yours once more. But there’s a reason why you moved on, right? Teaching was a huge part of my life until recently and I know I can make money doing it with enough time, effort, and the willingness to play that world’s games and politics. But there’s a reason I took a break, and a reason I decided to return to illustration as a result of stepping away from that world.
Other distractions keep popping up, and sometimes they’re related.
Graphic design is certainly a related discipline to illustration. And, in fact, illustration incorporates graphic design. But, not all graphic design incorporates illustration. The thing is, though, it’s much easier to make money doing straight, graphic design work. And web design work. All design work that may or may not incorporate illustration. So the temptation is: if I want to make a name for myself as a freelancer, I should promote my graphic design skills. Truthfully, this is something I’ve thought quite a bit about, and I have taken on some freelance work here and there without any major promotion. It’s all been word of mouth. But, graphic design is not something I want to make a living doing. It’s something I do, but, like teaching and music, it isn’t a focus. At least it shouldn’t be. For the past week I’ve been working on a brand of design I’d considered launching, but this morning it dawned on me: the concept so far has little to do with illustration. So, I’m rethinking the whole concept.
I am continuing to build my illustration skills and portfolio until I have enough work that shows potential clients I am a commodity worth investing in. In order to do that, though, I need to draw. I need to paint. I need to create illustrative works. I can’t do that if I insist on shifting my focus to something unrelated for the sake of an easier path.
No, that can’t happen. This isn’t to say I’m no longer a musician. I am. A damn good one. But I am a musician when the right opportunities come along and when I feel the need to make music. I’m not a musician because the allure of going after that career again is appealing. I’m a musician when I want to be a musician for the sake of being a musician. As for the visual arts? Graphic design itself is not my future. Illustrative design? Yes. Yes, I can do that. As long as illustration is part of my work, then yes, I can promote that. I can include that in my focus.
There are always going to be exceptions (ie. being employed as a graphic designer. Artists have to pay the rent while they’re working on their art, after all). There will be times when you take a little detour from the main road, but you’ve got to return sometime if you feel that main road is the one you should be walking. And later, if you decide otherwise, you can take one of those forks and walk along it for a while until you hit a new main road.
My advice to myself, and to anyone who cares to read this, is this: if you’ve been patient with yourself and your work thus far, being patient a little longer isn’t going to hurt.