When I was a kid I wanted to be, amongst the usual secret-agent-policeman-superhero-president vocations, a comics creator and a composer.

When I was a teenager, I wanted to be a comics creator and a drummer in a rock band (that would lead to a solo career).

As a young adult, I wanted to be a comics creator, a drummer, and a composer.

Right now, I’m mostly a drummer – an instructor and teacher, to be exact – and a composer.

Comics have been more of a hobby of late. I have a few things written and plans to draw get my butt at the drawing table, but with the need for money much of my time has been devoted to teaching and composing since that is what’s been bringing home the bacon. Unfortunately, I have not been consistent enough to even try to earn money making comics. And something as time-consuming as comics needs a special amount of attention, something that is difficult for me to give as I work hard at my current vocation. Comics are and always will be a passion of mine. I’m good at writing and drawing them, and they fill me with a creative joy that no other medium gives me. I will continue to write and draw them, but I will do them because I love them, not because I want money from them. This isn’t to say that I wouldn’t want to make money with my comics should the opportunity arise, but it’s certainly not a motivation for me right now.

I’ve been mostly self-employed since 2007, taking my time as a drummer and a composer to new heights. I co-own PiNdrop Music Design with my friend and partner Noah Clark. I have written scores of percussion and other ensemble music since I started teaching and in the past few years, since starting PiNdrop, have sold several indoor percussion shows and a couple field shows. I’m teaching at a couple different high schools. I have several private students. I’ve been working hard to make sure I build on my progress.

Being self-employed is extremely rewarding. My hopes for the future? To sell a lot more music and to get hired onto a drum corps battery staff, the place which I am from.

But I also know that I’m broke, and that being self-employed is taking a toll on my personal finances, the joint finances with my wife, and our home and comfort. I contribute money, but not as much as I would like. I have applied for jobs with no results. I have interpreted my situation as the universe telling me to continue to work hard and stay the course, as good things will come. And I believe they will.

However, the impatient side of me is finding another interpretation of the universe’s message: “Perhaps it’s time to find a whole new vocation. You know what I’m talking about, kiddo…”

Culinary school has been a fantasy of mine for years. Which is weird. I’ve worked in fast food and hated it (yes, I know it’s not the same, but when you’re covered in grease and immersed in heat, who cares?). I’m obsessive-compulsive, and I’ve read and heard about what kinds of things go on in a professional kitchen. So why culinary school would even be on my list of fantasies is a good question.

But the answer is simple: I love food.

I don’t really have a particular moment I can pinpoint that shows me suddenly realizing that I love cooking, or a moment before a plate of food that turned my taste buds’ world upside down. All I know is I love to eat, and I love to eat delicious food. Though cooking can be a chore, especially when I’m tired, I know that I love it; I know that when I’m in the kitchen prepping the food and putting everything together, it’s fun and I love doing it. As a bonus, I love it when the food turns out to be good and finding out that other people enjoy it.

I don’t plan on attending in the near, near future, but I have considered it for the near future. I don’t want to give up on my current business venture, and the decision to attend an expensive culinary school is a big decision, but I do know this: at least with a culinary education, I give myself greater potential to earn a steady income. Unfortunately, music, however much I love it and no matter how good I am at it, is not the world’s best money-maker. That is the reality of my current vocation, the one half of my dream career(s).

Food, on the other hand, is a more promising money-maker. I don’t expect to become a celebrity chef, or even to be the head chef anywhere – sure, both would be nice, but I certainly don’t expect it – but a consistent, low-paying job doing something I love would be great. And even if I find that a professional kitchen isn’t the right place for me, at least a culinary education will help me to cook better and eat better.

I’ve been doing the research but I’m not going to make the decision to enroll right now. I’m sticking to my guns and seeing where this teaching and composition thing takes me. Hopefully I’ll get to where I want to go.

If not, at least I can take pride in knowing that I’ve passed on my knowledge to drummers that want to learn and I’ve written some music that has been both sold and performed.